Colbert - Online Poker

Did someone say they had a bad day?

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

National Poker Challenge - Little Rock is up and running!

http://www.npcpoker.com/

National Poker League

Deal 'em

A Memphis-based outfit that promotes poker leagues crafted to avoid anti-gambling laws says it will come to Little Rock -- beginning Saturday in a room on Rodney Parham -- despite the fervently held opinion of the city attorney and prosecuting attorney that no form of poker competition is legal here. For what it's worth, the games aren't played with cash bets. Prizes are drawn from membership fees in the poker circuit. When the sun comes up, I'll try to ask around about this development, which I wrote about in a column last week.

UPDATE: I talked to a representative the poker league. He said, "We know we are under scrutiny. We know we are completely legal. We obviously wouldn't be opening if we didn't think we were completely legal."

The spokesman, Steven Shipowitz, added a wrinkle to my earlier understanding of the operation. He claims anyone who walks in can play, free, without being a subscriber to the National Poker League. The subscription allows players to reserve seats in tournaments on-line and to use a computerized statistical tracking service, but he says it is not required to play if seats are open. It's no different, he argued, than a McDonald's prize giveaway. We'll see, in due course, whether local authorities agree. Shipowitz said the company has local legal counsel prepared to argue there's no probable cause to believe any gambling, as the statute defines it, in this operation.

As I've said before, when the legislature deems video poker and blackjack at race tracks as games of skill, not gambling -- in circumstances where money is clearly put at risk -- it makes it harder to bust operations such as these with a straight face.

The games begin at noon 1 p.m. Saturday at 9101 Rodney Parham (in Ashley Square), Suite 214.

I might have stopped playing after -$150,000

I used to be good at poker.

I remember a time not too long ago when I used to be good at poker. It was a time of sweet honeysuckle fragrances and beautiful meadows full of prancing antelopes. I would watch those antelopes frolicking in the soft breeze and then take them down one by one. BOOM! Freaking idiots. We live in a new world now. A world were I shoot myself in the foot more often that I hit a little Bambi. A world that reeks of rancid butter and broccoli that has been left in the sun too long. More and more I find myself prancing through the summer heat, frolicking in the hot august wind until...BOOM! I am down on the ground trying to figure out how that fucking donkey can hold a shotgun between it's hoofs. I try to get back up and...KABLAM. A puffer fish is standing above me with a blowgun. A bright green dart tipped in purple is sticking out of my neck. I am getting very sleepy. Very sleepy. Next time... Flatline.

I used to be good at poker.

Deputy Dawg says, "I'm a gigantic tool"

What do you do when you sit down at a low limit table, immediately start talking trash and insulting other players, while quickly losing 2 1/2 standard buy-ins with your terrible play? Why, turn around and whip out your "big package", of course! That'll restore your ego.

20,824 to 1 shot

Appearing in the chat box before my Pokerstars SNG started tonight

murph3000: Hello everyone. I wish I could say it has been a pleasure playing.
murph3000: Unfortunately
murph3000: I hate this game
murph3000: and THIS should be my last tourny
murph3000: Good luck!

POSTSCRIPT: I bust murph3000 right smack on the bubble.

brennx77: gg
murph3000 [observer]: No it wasn'
murph3000 [observer]: wasn't at all
brennx77: ok
brennx77: srry then
murph3000 [observer]: that wasn't even fun.

This book did not help me become BIBY champion

Excerpt, from Amazon:

Player 1: Jc 10c
Player 2: Js 10s
Player 3: Ks Qc
Flop: 7s 8c 9s Turn: 10d River Jd

"In this example, Player 1 flopped the Straight, Player 2 made it a haigher Straight on the Turn, and Player 3 made it the Nut Straight on the River; and still, the possibility of Broadway is out there."

Haha. Love the creative mind that came up with Rock Banker for the author's name. And what a sweet poker table. Too bad they screwed up the title.